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The GIRL from TOKYO outskirts

   – Miki-chan, the bus is coming!

   – Haaai, oka-san!

I am a sixteen years old Japanese student, who lives in the outskirts of Tokyo. Every day I need to travel for a few hours to reach my high school. But that is Ok, because it became a part of my daily life. I think that Tokyo is a city of chances. You will never know what you will see, what feelings you will experience, but for one thing I am sure – that I am glad to live in Tokyo.

Every time I enter the bus, I see different people, who have their own background stories, which will be not known to me, due to they will always be strangers to me. I am not so capable of asking something, so as always, I just sit and wait for my stop. I like to observe the situation or just watch through the window. But on that day, – something has changed. When I entered the bus, I saw him, – and started to blush. My heart was pounding so much and somehow I felt like I really want to know this person`s background story… I did not know what kind of feel that was: maybe I was just in a dream and could not understand the reality or maybe I was just curious about him, why exactly he attracted me…

The bus started to move. My mind had a blackout. I started to think and feel again just then when I got out of the bus.

   – Ohayou gozaimasu, Miki-chan!

   – O-ohayou!

   – You look so dreamy this morning, – said my friend Yuri.

   – But but… Hehe, when I am not daydreaming? , – I tried to defend myself.

   – Well, that is true, that is so true! , – and she smiled at me.

We went together to the class while laughing.

In the evening I was thinking about him: how his glance was so deep like the ocean itself. His eyes were expressionless, but had a very crystal clear blue colour. He had long black hair and his face looked so soft and innocent. What kind of feeling is this, – I was asking myself the whole evening until I fell asleep.

Now every morning I meet him in the bus, but I am too shy even to say ‘hi’. What he will think about me? I am just one of a lot of girls from Tokyo outskirts…

And so, quite some time has passed. It looked that I met him just yesterday, but that was a lie and I was angry at myself.  Why I cannot open my mouth and just say at least ‘hello’.

These thoughts were attacking my head all the time. So, that morning, when I woke up, I decided that I finally, I must do it and so I said to myself:

   – Enough of empty dreams! Fighting mood on!

   – Miki-chan, is everything Ok? , – my mom asked me.

   – Yes, why are you asking?

   – Because you shiver so much. Are you feeling sick?

   – Thanks, mom, for caring, but everything is Ok. I need to go. See you!

After a few minutes, I approached the bus station and I did not need to wait long, since the bus came right after I reached the station.

The bus stopped, the doors opened. I wanted to enter the bus, but then I heard someone from behind shouting to me:

   – Oi, please, tell the bus driver to wait a bit!

I turned around and saw him! He was running and losing his breath.

The bus driver was a kind person, so he waited until the boy reached the bus.

And so it happened that I ended up sitting next to him… All the time I was thinking what should I do… Fighting with myself to say ‘hi’.

   – Umm, thank you, – he said.

   – You are welcome, – I answered.

   – My name is Kamui.

   – And my name is Miki. It is very nice to meet you!

   – Same here! , – he replied with a short answer.

It felt like I was blushing the whole time while we were talking. I did not notice how we started to chat so easily. We talked about different topics and laughed so much. That moment looked like a standstill for me.

   – Bye bye, see you! , – it was so difficult to say those words out loud, but I had to, due to, my bus stop was here and I had to get out. I was very happy since we said that we will meet again.

After the school, I was about to go home and saw him on the other side of the street. My heart started to pound.

He invited me to eat ice cream together. We went to the park and while eating the ice cream we chatted a bit:

   – Life goes fast. Don`t you think?

   – Sure does, – I answered without a thinking.

   – And sometimes it is too short, – he added.

I was wondering, why we are talking about this kind of topic. We are young and everything is ahead of us… or at least that was what I thought.

   – I feel that I do not have so much time, – he said that and smiled, but behind the smile you could sense a lonely person, who had sad eyes, like he was trying to hide something.

After that we talked about many things, we even decided to make a picture of us together! My heart found peace at last.

   – Do you like the sky? , – Kamui asked me after a short pause.

   – Yes! It never sleeps and is endless!

   – And someday, – he started and ended with a silent voice, – we will become one with the sky…

   – Huh? , – I did not understand that and I was a bit confused.

   – You know, every person has a limited time here. My clock is ticking. Hope to see you again, – he kissed me on the cheek and went away saying:

   – Whenever something happens, fight! Believe in yourself! , – and I lost him out of my sight.

I felt really strange. All the way home, I was thinking what he said and what was the real meaning behind all of this..?

After that day, I have never seen him again… First, I thought maybe he is sick, but weeks, even months have passed. I was feeling insecure. Decided to find myself what was wrong. It was difficult. I just had our photo that we made together while eating the ice cream. The picture was the only proof that that day was real and not a hallucination. I asked a few girls about him and they said that they knew his sister. However, when I finally met her, she said that he passed away…

After this, I fell on the ground and started to cry… Kamui`s sister explained to me that he had an unhealthy heart and after collapsing he never woke up.

I was in a deep depression, but I remembered his words:

   – Fight! Believe in yourself!

After a lot of years have passed, I still remember him, how I was not able even to say ‘hi’ to him. I remembered the day when we finally talked… He will always remain in my memories as a sixteen years old boy, who was full of mysteries.

Now, ten years later I am standing in front of his grave again.

Those emotions filled in my heart as I would have been the same me as before all those years. As I would be the same sixteen years old girl from the Tokyo outskirts that I used to be.

Tears began to fall… and while I was kneeling in front of his grave I said to myself:

   – Even I am not the same, but I will fight, because you are my light!

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